Its one of the sundays where I come home straight after practice. Feels funny... Not used to sunday evenings alone. I shall attempt to blog alot this evening.. Got lots of time to do so while waiting for my dinner... Dale's gonna make soup for me. Once in a lifetime thing. :D

Let me start with an issue I've been struggling with... Finding a girlfriend, or rather, a life partner. I've been telling a few people about my concerns and most of them have been giving good advice. 'Be patient', 'The time will come', 'Don't worry', 'Try to think of other things', and 'You still have so long to go!'
Well, as always, I try my best to put emotions away and pray that it doesn't overwhelm me. Lynette says it involves the renewing of my mind. Meaning I have to change my way of thinking to reflect what the word of God promises instead of depending on my mood and emotions. I know this and I need to actually do it...

And so today I went to church late... I was supposed to have bible study at 10am with Gerald and Andy but I woke up only at 9:45am. So i was super late... And Andy was quite pissed at me. Kinda affected me cos I had to teach the bible study. But thankfully everything went well... Apologised to Andy after that.
Oooh!!! I just remembered that I'm going to Rhema tomorrow for the open house. Formal clothes again... :P

Was thinking about the sermon today. Found that it was a little defeatist. Like accepting what the world throws at us too easily. I don't like it when God is reduced to almost nothing... As if He is just a mindset or a way of thinking. I will not lay down and accept it because the Word of God says differently! It promises health, long life, and everything we need. Don't say that there are somethings that we don't understand. Don't say God took away your loved one. Don't say sickness is a lesson from God... Its a load of crap. God doesn't kill people or make them sick. He loves every one of us.
It does say that the world will be screwed up. It does say that we have a hope in His son Jesus Christ. And it does say that we don't have to live with certain crap. We have authority!!! Why do we suffer then? Because of consequence, because of the reckless actions or neglect of others and because of the devil and his schemes. I'm sorry but don't blame God for things He didn't do... My God protects me from sickness, disease and harm. And I will not be swayed...

And so there was practice just now... It was find except for this one song. Found it weird that they kept looking at me whenever the music sounded dead. Its like I don't control the life of the music. Played through it a few times and everytime it sounded dead, I had the impression that they thought it was my fault. Everything sounded better when Joe started playing rhythm instead of fills/padding... We needed someone to drive the song. But its always 'blame the drummer'... Muahaha.

Which leads to the next topic. I feel that I'm either
1) Being rather sensitive to comments lately...
2) Being easily irritable
3) Being under the scrutiny of people
4) Being under the scrutiny of people just waiting for me to make a mistake.

Lets just continue to see what happens.

I've got 5 months of holiday. But I don't know what to do during this time... The thought of going somewhere for a holiday is attractive, but I have to consider that I need to save money for Rhema Bible School after NS. Might consider looking for a part time job... But might interfere with things like church camp or other workshops or seminars that I might have. What to do, what to do...?